[126] Inspire Yourself and Better Your Life

I write when I'm feeling inspired. Whether it's after an intense conversation, finding a new recipe, watching a documentary, trying on a new pair of clothes/shoes, stumbling upon cute more cute owls, playing with my niece and watching her smile and laugh, shopping for fresh veggies and fruits, or catching a reflection in the mirror.

Today I am inspired by my own willpower and persistence to better my health and self-esteem.

Let's take a step back to one life changing experience... In the fall of 2009 I went through a divorce. The fact that I was still living with my in-laws was so taxing on my emotions, overall attitude, and my physical well-being. I found myself wanting to sleep in all the time. I never wanted to eat at dinner time, but I'd often force myself to have a small serving of whatever my in-laws prepared. It was the simple fact that I had to sit in front of (or be in the same house as) my soon-to-be ex-father-in-law. On more than one occasion, I would leave the house a couple of hours after dinner to go grab Taco Bell, McDonald's, or Wendy's so I could feel full and escape the people I lived with. Even though I was eating fast food, I still kept to my simple and fairly light breakfast and lunch.

At the end of September 2009, I packed up all my belongings, drove halfway across the country and moved into my parents home. I noticed I had slimmed down quite a bit and was able to fit into some old clothes better than before. For as long as I can remember, I've always had a pooch belly. Sure, I've tried to workout and make it as minimal as possible, but for whatever reason that just hasn't been a result I've been able to achieve. So, I work around it. I dress myself to what I find flattering to my shape and figure.

October 2009

By December 2009, I had consumed more Whataburger than any human should ever consume. Towards the end of the month, I took a trip to see my best friend (whom I hadn't seen since I left Alaska in April 2008) and meet his soon-to-be wife for the first time. I was so uncomfortable in my own skin during the couple of days I visited them. And seeing the pictures afterwards just left me feeling so disappointed in myself for letting my weight get so out of hand.

Fast forward to March/April 2010. Shawno flew down to Texas to visit for my birthday. During his visit, we took a walk to the falls of Wichita River as well as driving to the top of Mt. Scott in the Wichita Mountains (which are more like hills, located in Oklahoma). The day we visited the falls, it was hot, humid, and we were all suffering as we tried to enjoy the beauty of the falls. My sister took photos of Shawno and I as we sat and posed on top of the rocks along the stairs. After looking at the photos, I said to my sister "This is how pregnancy rumors get started." I was disgusted with my entire mid-section. At the time, I would think to myself, this isn't so bad, I've seen worse days. Lying to myself, of course.

In July 2010, I made the decision to go vegetarian, starting August 1, 2010. I ate fairly healthy. Started bringing in more fresh veggies into my diet. I felt awesome. The problem? I was still overeating and still consuming way too much soda for my own good.

January 2011, I visited Texas to help throw a baby shower for my sister. It was on this trip that I truly decided I needed to make a change in my life. I was still fairly new to vegetarianism. I had just given up soda for the new year. I weighed more than my 6 month pregnant sister... and I just couldn't stand to look at my body any longer. I lived in hoodies and sweaters.

March 2011, I made a decision for myself. Drop 50 lbs. I was originally 210 in January, weighed in at 197 in March, and made a goal for 147 by March 2012. I bought a scale as a birthday gift to myself. That was the start of it all. Ate more fresh foods than ever before. Cooked meals at home as often as possible. I brought granola and yogurt to work for lunch. I'd grab a veggie delite at Subway if I didn't have time to pack a lunch.

It's now March 2012. I'm 4 days from the end of my year long goal. How am I doing? I've lost a total of 40 pounds since last January. I'm 10 pounds from achieving a 50 pound loss, and 23 pounds from reaching my goal weight. The reality of losing 10 or 23 pounds in four days is just not going to happen. It would be dangerous to lose that much in such a short amount of time! Haha! Am I punishing myself for not reaching that goal? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I've managed to drop 40 pounds! I went from a size 12 to an 8! I recently tried on size 6 jeans at American Eagle and THEY FIT! I didn't buy them because I want to lose some more from my mid-section before I buy new clothes.

I have never loved myself more than I do now. And I appreciate people who take notice of the difference I have made for myself.

In 2009, I didn't care what I put in my body, food wise.
In 2010, I made a choice to cut meat out of my daily diet.
In 2011, I made the choice to cut carbonated sodas out of my daily diet.
In 2012, I made the choice to continue being meat-free and soda-free... because it works for me.

Looking to better yourself? Pay attention to your own habits. Make a change for yourself. If diet programs work for you, go for it! If you need something more, do your own research!

The beauty of being a vegetarian is that I get to eat the foods I love.

Left: December 2009, Right: March 2012

"Where willpower is the muscle, self-discipline is the structured thought that controls that muscle."

[124] 36 pounds, and I ain't talkin' currency

In 6 weeks I will be coming to the end of a goal I set for myself 1 year ago.

Original post: Goal: Drop 50 lbs in 1 year

Last January, I weighed 210 pounds. I have never felt an extreme level of embarrassment and disappointment in myself until that moment. Often questioning myself, "How did I let this get out of hand?" Last March I weighed 197 pounds and decided, I've had enough of this. I must get this under control. I've lost a total of 36 pounds since last January and I still have another 27 pounds to lose before March 25, 2012. That's 6 weeks away! How do I plan on busting down those last 27 pounds? Staying positive, continuing to eat fresh & homemade foods, and quite a bit of cardio.

"I've had the urge to go running lately. I'll probably make it to the corner and have to turn around.
...I live on a corner house."

Quoting myself because I'm real cool.

When I started this journey I was wearing sizes 12 and 14. I'm now comfortably wearing sizes 8 and 9! In fact, I only have two pairs of jeans in 8's and one pair in 9 (which happen to be my yellow jeans from my Pichu costume). I honestly can't even remember the last time I was in the single digits. (Single digits for the single girl. Haaaay!)

I have received numerous comments and messages about my progress. People I haven't talked to in years have started to contact me just to say congrats and keep going. All these positives keep me going! Not that I'm relying on others to push me towards my goal, but it sure does help. So, thank you to everyone who has helped me through this. Thank you for taking a moment out of your day to let me know that you have seen and support the improvements and changes I have made in my life to better my health.

I love being able to walk into a grocery store or a restaurant and say "no" to something I don't need.

This picstitch photo sums up how I feel about myself.

I often get the urge to play dress-up now that I feel as beautiful on the outside as I do on the inside. :) Love yourself because there's absolutely nothing wrong with doing so.

1½ years vegetarian & 13 months soda free.

[120] Who moved my cheese?

I didn't read the book when my Dad suggested so in 2009, and I don't plan on reading it (but who's to say I won't eventually pick it up?).

I may have a late start on my new years resolutions. One craft a week is on hold. I'll explain in my next post.

As I look around my apartment, I have come to the realization that I have been so blessed to acquire the things I own. Over the last two years my owl collection has skyrocketed. I don't even want to attempt to count! To those who have gifted me with such items, I can't thank you enough. There have been quite a number of people who think of me at the sight of an owl, whether it's a real animal or a knickknack they've seen in passing. It's the thought that counts. :]

[118] Resolutions to the New Year

As the holiday season starts to wind down, so does my busy work schedule. While that isn't exactly good news for my wallet/bank, I'll be glad to have a little more down time in between work days. Of course, I wouldn't mind keeping my ~30 hour work week as it is, but that's not likely to happen. ;]

I'm still in search of New Year's resolutions! For 2011 I gave up carbonated beverages which proved to be quite a challenge at the beginning of the year. As the year went on, it became easier with the passing months. Water, juices, teas, coffee, and beer. ;] (This lady loves her beer.) If you've been following me throughout the year across my blogs, Twitter, or Facebook, you know that I have lost 30 pounds over these last 12 months. Giving up soda definitely played a huge role in this goal I have set for myself (which is targeted for March 25, 2012).

So here I sit. In search of a New Year's resolution that will, once again, test my level of self-discipline. The question is; what resolution should I set for myself in 2012?

Some of you may remember the monogrammed mason jars I started making earlier this year. Well the time has finally come to give them to those persons they were made for. I just sent 3 off to my family in Texas, hand delivered 2 to my family in Rhode Island, and I have 5 left to hand out.

A couple weeks before Christmas, I finally stopped in AC Moore to pick up supplies for my holiday center piece. While I was in the store I came upon some wreaths. I've had this bag of yarn that I originally planned on making scarfs and pot holders with, but I have been lacking motivation. So I decided to try making my first yarn wreath. It's still a work in progress! Here's a little preview of what I have done.

Still working on the felt flowers. Somewhere over the past week, I found some time to make my gingerbread house. This was a kit that came with 1/2 a pound of a variety of Wonka candy. (Also, this is the 2nd gingerbread house I have ever made in my 25 years of life. I'm so proud!)

So I have a few crafts I need to finish before the year is up. Luckily, I have a couple days off in the coming week in which I plan on devoting to finishing this wreath.

[112] Footsteps in the ceiling

Everyone's watching American Horror Story. I saw about half of an episode and walked away. Not because it is scary but because I'm not really interested in this show right now.

Although, I would rather live downstairs from a haunted apartment than have to listen to the kid upstairs, stomping his feet all around the apartment. Seriously. Just stop.

I recently took some herbal supplements which left me with less than desirable side effects. Evening primrose oil makes me itch like crazy. The opposite of what I was hoping for, as I was taking it to help clear my eczema. The good news is, I read that omega3 and zinc deficiencies are possibly the reasoning behind my intense breakouts over the last few months. After reading and seriously thinking about it, this does make sense to me. So I picked up some supplements at my local CVS. Luckily for me, they were running a Buy 1 Get 1 Free deal on some of the things I was looking for. So I picked up some acai as well. Hoping for good results and keeping a positive attitude about it. :]

Don't forget, I have extended the My Memories giveaway!